It is 2:45 in the morning
Thank you dear friend
I lay in the hospital bed
Holding me overnight as my pressure is out of control
Her first day started and after dropping her off for first day
Sending her off with love
Telling her I will never leave you oh how sad she was to hear Corissa tell her she's not coming back was just to much
I layed a good hoping it will have meant something and she will see the light
To watch how my family is reacting is just to difficult to talk about
I have done the best I could
And for my grand baby to go through this all because of the young adult out of control behavior
X-ray cat scan and blood work all good
It's my pressure that won't stabilize
7:00 in the evening given the pill under my tongue as pressure was 189/152
This is what I fear
And not having any control over this body
I never thought it would get this bad
But it has
It has
Can't wait to see my granddaughter and apologize to her
She knew something was wrong as I was getting her ready
And talking to her and to hear her tears for fear I won't be home
Just makes it that much harder
I don't know what else to do anymore
All for what
I ask my Heavenly Father to help this family
Help us through this
Keep me around for I am needed in this babies life
Not to mention all my family
But I can't do it anymore
It's gotten so out of control
It is so out of my control
Not that it ever was but I'm sure you all get the picture

It was a scary feeling
Belching my jawline
The weighted feeling I couldn't get rid of
The lump that is still in my throat
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
We said the Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary as she cried for me
Oh dear Father
Heal me
Heal this family
Don't let me go when she now too needs me

This all because I couldn't keep it all together
Corissa I pray will find her way home
Till then I have to get myself together
For the sake of this little one who is innocent and loves her titti
Her BFF
I am crushed
Just crushed
And my fears have brought me to this point
Not a place I want to be
Lost in the abyss
Broken into pieces
And all I can do is pray
Pray that all will be fine
Me