There may be something in that Eva, take stock and live in the moment or the now as some would say. Worry not over the future or what is round the corner, just breathe and live with what you have. I know for you it's a rucksack full of pebbles and I'm so very sorry for that. So moving forward at some stage does need to pause, use the pause to empty your rucksack somewhat. We are here, live, pm, on screen, whatever works to help unburden some of the load you carry.