Starz
I'm usually happy/cheerful most of the time and my family has gotten used to this demeanor. They notice right away if I'm not as upbeat as I normally am. I guess I don't want to disappoint them or worry them. And I hate trying to explain that I don't know why I'm sad. It's just easier pretending there's nothing wrong.
One thing I haven't ever experienced is suicidal feelings. I'm so sorry you've felt that way.
Sometimes I think it's just the MS but I hate blaming everything on MS. Plus I really don't think it is.