Before they introduced limits on number of attempts, the most attempts on one day has been 11, the next 9. I always tell them, but, they inevitably think they can do it and we end up in a dilemma with the number of attempts allowed. I sometimes think because I know all the terminology they think I'm being a smarty pants.

My writing of mum prompted me to send her a message saying how good she was and how I'm not sure I've ever said it before. She was very good at her job, initially a nurse, trained in midwifery as well. Had us children and returned to work when I was about 2 or 3 so my nana looked after me a lot. Perhaps that's why I never really bonded with her like my siblings. As I said in another post, I will always be my mothers child & of late I have reached a state of mind where I can forgive her for many moments she could have, and should have, handled differently. I know she loves me in her own way, and I no longer need to seek her approval. I can and do hold my own in life. She was very controlling, I can see that now having recently read many letters corresponded in my teens. Where my siblings lied and went behind her back, I was always honest to a tee. I could see no point in lying because I was going to cop her wrath one way or another... I have to say it's nice to have had the epiphany moment and I have been significantly relaxed in her presence ever since.

You will probably hear from me, I apologise in advance I will be on morphine and ketamine so heaven help what gibberish I will write. Even though I know now I shouldn't write... thank you for being such a staunch support Gerry, your every word brings me comfort