Quote:
Originally Posted by PamelaJune
As some of you know I phoned to speak with SIL K to apologise for any angst I may have ever caused her. I thought it would have put things to bed and quietened down all the angst over there. Sadly no, now, she is calling the niece K who has been recently suicidal and sending her nasty messages saying K has tried to create a wedge between her and her brother. Niece K sent me a photo on the weekend, she had been beaten up, it seems she mixed the Valium with MJ and of course not a good mix, smashed out of her mind and someone tried to take advantage & steal her belongings. SIL K sent her a message saying she deserved all that she gets and good she got hurt. I can't understand it, this is a 60 yr old woman for goodness sake, sending petty Facebook messages on public forums using fake names saying you think your so smart you can't block me and causing no end of trouble. It just doesn't make sense.
I spoke with niece K this morning and told her as I have said before, say nothing at all. Do not respond, do not engage in playing games. She has enough to deal with having no job, lost her home & now living in a hostel. I told niece K I had phoned and apologised to her Aunty K & I truly thought it would smooth things over.
SIL G sent me a message saying it takes 2 to argue, so SIL K must have told her of my apology but by the sound of it not accepted. SIL G said I've done my part and both she & I have enough on our plates to deal with. I wrote back yes we have & reiterated to SIL G how important it is she not get involved in any of this stuff, if she feels her sobriety threatened in any way to go back to rehab.
Now K tells me this morning she thinks her mother SIL G is drinking again. I'm not sure I believe K, she was definitely on something when I spoke with her so her judgement and opinions combined with her recent risky behaviour somewhat questionable. In so many ways, I will be glad to be having this operation where I can outright say, I need to be selfish and look after myself, you are all adults and I can't be the one to fix everything for everyone. It's beyond my realm of desire anymore.  |
just won't stop
It is so close to this families storyline
Common denominator mind altering ingestion
And left to their own devices
Mom wanted to pick up yesterday
While I had a situation going on at home with my youngest
Such a long situation to even start talking about
But found in the end how used and mistaken they are
She hurt us again with the lies
Never made it to school to register
My granddaughter home sick
Happy to see her titti said she wanted to stay a few nights and if okay get in a routine going to school spend time here as hell and a broken heart be healed
Fell to pieces as I had no money to give her she owed someone so needed to go back
That just s taste while mom on the line with me
Then a old friend from the rooms
Having s hard time
Called and is worried that she shaved her head
Is that the important issue at hand I thought
It shouldn't be a thought
Just to be truthful and that be the important and only concern
The truth
Why am I the go to person and expected to respond
ASAP
having no clue how many things that were going on at once
And I said to myself
I can only do what I can
And
No I will not allow myself to be used
As I expressed to my youngest
In glad she thought it out and had a situation that would work all the way around
Only for it to have been talk talk talk
What I want to know
How is it that we wind up being blamed for every single
Untruthful story that just feeds off negative toxic people that want to pull and keep that person a prisoner in her own mind
"He makes me feel safe"
If that were the case it wouldn't be happening as it is being unfolded
And now
WE do
Posted so I wouldn't disappear
Why can't I just say I can't at this moment I'm going through a little something myself
What is it that I feel so badly and not to find the same in return
But the complete opposite
Mean spirited
And that just puts me in the mind frame
And begging to think
How selfish
Doesn't anybody look at me and see what I'm feeling
To not be a thought
Only when problem arises
Or they need money
As if I have it to give
Going through the coin bottle to give her for her return
And the at the same time on the phone with her dada requesting car service
She is using me once again and I caught her
Will not respond
But again
HOW IS IT THAT WE ARE THE ONES THAT ARE HURT
BY THE LIES LIES LIES
HOW DO I MOVE FORWARD
one step at a time
One step at a time
I'm sorry that on top of this thing called physical pain
Oh how I pray for it to be lifted
The scary possibility of this wait
But having to let Father to handle where I can't must be first right NOW
all else WILL FOLLOW
FOR US AND THOSE WHO ARE IN THE AME BOAT
HOLDING ON WITH YOU
THANKS for the ENCOURAGING support
Here for ya
This place is different
Love me