Snuchu,

Welcome to NeuroTalk.

Wow. There is so much you say that I can relate to. I suffered my worst brain injury at 10 years old in 1965.

First, the Neuro Psych Assessment is one of the best ways to understand your condition. Hopefully, it will be administered and reviewed by a Neuro Psych who works with rehabing brain injured individuals, usually working with a neuro rehab hospital. I've noticed there is a huge difference between the office based neuro psych who has limited neuro rehab hospital experience and those with neuro rehab hospital experience. Those with limited neuro rehab experience tend to put more blame on the patient than on the injury.

Understanding your functions will help you learn work arounds. First, you have to accept what proper functions and improper dysfunction truly exists.

There is a way to stop the outburst. First, expect it to happen and learn the early signs of an impending outburst. Then, turn and walk away. It does not matter how right you are in your response, the improper expression of the response is the issue. You have a right to your internal thought reaction but not your external expression. I can go into more detail later.

I carry a small slips of paper in my wallet that says :
Please be patient with me. I suffer from a brain injury that causes me to over-react when confronted with shouting or someone barking orders. I respond by getting loud. Any assistance to help limit excessive auditory stimulation is helpful.

When is a situation where things are starting to get tense, cops, TSA at the airport, etc. I had it to a person in authority. I do not just show it to them. I give it to them. I have plenty in my wallet. The more they really read it, the better their response.

There are ways this can be customized. Some of my TBI friends have speech problems that may make them appear intoxicated or mentally retarded. They are smart people with speech problems and often problems with over-stimulation. Their paper slip says. "I have a speech disorder that may make me appear drunk. I am not. Please help me by being patient."

Regarding the mental imaging issue. I have it. But, more important, I did not always have it so I understand the frustration. I used to have a photographic memory. I could image a page or picture or scene or such. I now need to draw images if I am trying to design something. I do a form of spread sheet. I spread sheets of paper with the various images on my desk.

I just found a word that appear to define this. Aphantasia Aphantasia - Wikipedia

I have used up to 3 computer screens so I do not have to try remember what is on a hidden/cascaded window or tab.

I suggest you consider your brain a special needs brain. It needs special treatment in the form of sleep, nutrition, supplements, environment, tasks, etc. When you establish the optimum set of these factors, you will do much better.

For example, I have to stay away from stressful environments. Certain people and personalities are not beneficial to me. I cannot rely on hearing instructions. I need to see them, too. I need the pace slower. I cannot multi-task. Not worth trying to multi-task. I have ear plugs with me 24/7.

There are many more conditions I either avoid or seek out.

I use typed formats like this forum to communicate the best. I use scrolling back to read what I just typed as my short term memory.

Your lack of hearing adds a layer to your communication struggles as you need to use motor skills to sign. Do you live with those who can easily communicate with you ?

When I am speaking in a small group, I often rehearse what I am going to say. Impulsive comments tend to come out poorly. Plus, I can forget a word I was going to say mid sentence. I don't know if you can relate to a loss of brain to mouth communication functions. Do you have struggles with getting thoughts out ?

Please feel free to tell us anything. We have heard them all except you have added the hearing issue. That should not be a big limit to us understanding your struggles.

My best to you.