Nice to meet you both, Jo*mar and Mark in Idaho!

As far as my knowledge goes, there was a brain scan done around the time after I got ill with meningitis. I think the doctor said it was too early. After that, I did not do any assessments except a psychiatric one when I got locked up. I found out today that I have a neuro-psych assessment booked in only a couple of weeks, so I guess my doctor wanted to have it happen ASAP.

It will be done at a hospital, but I'm not sure if the assessor is experienced or not. We'll see, I guess! I really hope it helps me and my doctor understand what goes on in my brain. I really want to understand myself and gain insight in what proper functions and improper dysfunctions I have, and what strengths and weaknesses I have, so I can finally begin working on my life to improve it.

About the outbursts, should I expect it to happen every time I feel that things are going sideways? I can most likely try to learn how to do that most of the time, but there are times when it happens in less than a split second. There's no time to even think or stop reacting... Someone says the wrong thing to me, coupled with some other factors such as being already tired, irritable, and especially overwhelmed... then just like that, that person is on the floor. Sometimes I say, "Wait, what did I just do?"

The small slips of paper is an AMAZING idea, I will keep that in mind. I already have a card that tells the police to respect my rights as a deaf person, and another card that tells people the number to call the medical interpreting services in the event of a medical emergency. Why not another one about brain injury? Haha.

Aphantasia sounds exactly like what I have. Thank you so much for finding the word! Since the brain injury was at 3 months old for me, so I wasn't aware that my mind's eye was malfunctioning. I always got confused when people ask me to think or visualize things. I have 2 computer screens, a smartphone, and a tablet all at my desk to help me do my things.

Do any of you ever remember your dreams? I very rarely ever remember my dreams. The only times I do, it's usually an especially terrible nightmare that I forget 5 minutes after I wake up. I feel that I probably have frequent nightmares, because there are reports of me screaming in the middle of the night, restlessly moving around, stuff like that. I remember one incidence where I woke up in pain after kicking a cement wall with full force from, I'm guessing, a nightmare.

I'd like to attempt to create a system that works for me, but I forget so much I don't even know what environment is unhealthy for me, what things that push my buttons too much, and rules like that. I remember only when it's happening at the moment, but not before or after.

I love forums and saved chats as well, because of the same reasons - remembering what I and the others said, the ability to re-read my typing and fix errors & make sure I mean what I say. Some things do slip through the cracks, though.

Yes, my hearing loss adds a major challenging barrier in my life. As you probably can see, I am articulate and that brings on problems through American Sign Language because I want to say a specific word and then have to spell it out because there are no signs for that word. It contributes to frustration and when the situation is pressured or filled with anger, it degrades into chaos very fast. I'd say written/typed English is my first language while ASL is my second language. That alone brings more problems to my life because if I choose the ASL option in an appointment, I have to focus on what the interpreter is saying and I often miss statements or misunderstand. I also have to ask to repeat what they said sometimes, and it all doesn't matter in the end because I entirely forget what was said after the appointment.

I definitely relate to a loss of brain to mouth communication functions... I often forget what I was going to say, forget what the topic was, and forget a word mid-sentence. I notice that sometimes when I try to explain what I mean, people get confused or say something that doesn't actually relate or answer what I mean. That frustrates me a lot.