Snuchu,

The first thing I suggest you have checked is your sleeping. Do you have any form of sleep apnea, either obstructive or central sleep apnea. Sleep apnea can be a cause of night terrors and miserable days. I have sleep apnea issues that can make my sleep miserable and days a fog. I take gabapentin before bed to help my brain let go of nervous tension.

Regarding your outbursts and physical reactions, you need somebody to help you change your thought process. People have a right to be total jerks and say stupid, annoying, insulting and degrading things. That is their problem. Your reactions make it your problem. You are letting them control you. From my experience, the deaf community tends to be very demonstrative.

You lack the voice inflections available to the speaking community so you reply with physical motions with your hands, face and even body. You can learn to keep those body actions to yourself. Maybe you can learn a replacement action, like slugging you hands together, if that is not an ASL sign. You would not want to make a sign that appear aggressive. Or, grabbing your head in disgust or pain like a headache.

I find that in hindsight, I can usually see that I missed earlier opportunities to avoid getting upset. You may notice that certain environments make you more prone to outbursts. Visual distractions/stimuli may be part of the trigger. I can usually tell that an environment has exhausted my reserve capacity so I am cocking the trigger. All I need it the next stimulus to set me off.

You acknowledge that being tire and overwhelmed is a problem. These are those missed earlier opportunities to avoid getting upset. "I'm too tired and agitated to talk about this right now." "How about we return to this conversation earlier in the day another day?"

I know that there are certain subject that I should not talk about late in the day, especially with my wife. She gets tired too and we both get frustrated.

I am greatly over-stimulated by sound with visual stimulus contributing to the over-stimulation. You may have a visual over-stimulation limit.

Have you considered a voice to text app rather than or to augment the translator ? Tablet and smart phone power allows great accuracy.

Your struggle with the conceptual limits of ASL sounds similar to my word finding limits. I have had grammatical and vocabulary limits since grade school. I can understand complex words but can not pull them out of my brain to use easily. I routinely use google to check that I am using a word correctly. My biggest struggle is complex sentence structures since my processing skills are lacking.

My doctor observed how bad my brain was functioning compared to how well I function. He was amazed at how I could use intellectual skills to overcome many memory and cognitive deficits. I bet you will test to show executive functioning weaknesses. You can learn to methodically correct for those weakness by using your intellect.

Think of it this way. You know a certain emotion should flow naturally in a certain situation but it does not. You learn to recognize those situations and use method to act like that emotion.

My best to you.