You are not useless, Bobby

I have control issues, too. That, and anxiety, can be part of why it's hard to let your emotions out.
I tend to talk about events like I'm telling a story.. detached from them, but then I will feel the emotions later, and struggle with them. But when I had a really good therapist, it wasn't like that. I was comfortable, and could tell her anything...
I hope the same happens for you

Getting on a regular sleep cycle and staying on it is really, really hard. It is very common for people with BP to have sleep issues