you know 1totalk, i have been thinking of your statement quite a bit over the last 24 hours, and i want to say that i total agree, rsd is a monster. that is for sure, but monsters are able to be tamed, or trained or slayed if necessary .... i think you need to literally visualize this monster, and then decide how you want to deal with him. i have accepted my monster and some days he tries like heck to bite me, but i refuse to let him get my spirit, and sometimes i have to get tough with him. you know for years i LET him be in charge, and i was miserable, now, he like a barking dog .... but i do not let him bite. i wish you all the best in making your relationship with this part of you that you have to deal with. joan