I know the pain well my dear friend, I've had many dogs over my lifetime, I've mourned them each, but one in particular, my Holly, she died of cancer in 2009. I still have her ashes and they will be buried with mine. It's not that I loved her anymore than the others, she was just more human, my mother says often she never knew she was a dog. She was the child I never had. I still cry when I think of her, typing this and I'm crying, I well know your pain, but know that he is safe in your heart and loved for ever in your mind, no old bones or aches and pains, just at peace.