10Decisions, congrats on your sobriety. Overall you are doing amazing well and while further progress may be slow, it sounds like you caught your neuropathy early and can likely expect further improvement.

Yes, it is the horizontal that brings on the burning in my lower extremities. I wonder if that is the position or that it is the end of the day that brings it on.

As to regrets I have many but I try not to let head to go there. When it does I tell myself I did the best I could under my circumstances and "It takes what it takes" and had to be on my knees praying for death and close to suicide til I realized I had to make changes. I have ruined my good looks and essentially made myself a cripple and ruined my excellent health but I can't dwell there and can only try to use this remorse to vow NEVER to go back there again.

Should you want to make amends I would recommend via email or letter in case it is not well received and also you can carefully choose your words, but if your past haunts you then apologies and explanations can be very cleansing for all. I have been hurt by many these last several years and I would love to get their amends so I could forgive and forget.
I use to tell myself that I am only hurting myself but in hindsight I now realize I hurt my family as I am not who and what I was and therefore I have wronged them as well. In failing health I realize that they may feel the need to care for me and that was never my intention. Unfortunately I can never disclose my alcoholism and that will need remain my dirty little secret.

Best wishes to all.