Hello to all,

This is my first day here and first post. I have read several posts and have seen most everything I am struggling with here, so I decided I would go ahead and post also. I have been a member of psych central for years but just came here today out of extreme fear. I have struggled with various problems for over 20 years, BUT i have an extreme medical phobia and have not been able to go to many doctor visits so I have ignored them the best I can. I did end up in an emergency room over 20 years ago and was diagnosed with pseudotumor cerebri and had to have fluid taken from my spine. I have since attributed most issues to either that or my weight and poor food choices. The problem for me is that it has again gotten to a point of extreme fear with some symptoms that I am afraid will have serious consequences if I don't find a way to get to a doctor. (and yes, I am really trying with the help of a therapist, but I have been trying for a year and so far I haven't had much success. We are trying again tomorrow or next week and I think that is what has pushed me to come here and find people that might understand).

I know you guys are not allowed to diagnosed or maybe even say what you think, I don't want to do or say anything that is against the rules and I will admit that I didn't read through all of them because one of the problems I am having right now is with vision and not reading or seeing things quite right. So if telling symptoms and asking what you guys think is wrong, please just let me know. I have seen others, but that doesn't mean it was right for them.

From my research and symptoms, I am really feeling that MS is highly likely for me. Every single symptom I have had has always gone in what I called 'cycles' because if I just wait it out, everything seems to either get a lot better or go away completely BUT either it returns or something very similar returns in weeks, months, or sometimes I will get years away form one thing (say it is the bottom of my feet numb and tingling and it lasts for a month and then is just gone, but in 3 months my hands start up and my feet are there but very slight now). That is an example, but not of my stuff acts in a sivilized manner, so I can't explain to anybody without sounding like a lunatic. I am going to list my problems and would love to know if you think I might be on the right track. One of my big problems is that if I do make it to a doctor, it is not something like most people where I can go and discuss a few things and then maybe go to somebody else next week until we figure out what things might be. I might only have one shot at making into a doctor and making it out alive (so to speak). So I really need to have some idea of what to say or ask if I manage to go to try to get the right things looked at fast. I know if it is MS that it will require an MRI for conformation, but if it is the psuedotumor back then it will take that and spinal taps and if it is Lupus (I was told that test came back positive during the psuedotumore time, but then a second test was negative..... grrrrr.... LOL). As you see, everything is so confusing. Let me put my mess here and see if you guys thing my MS thoughts might be justified.

My newest symptoms (which have happened a few times in the past 20 years but only for a time or two and never lasted long like they are now)
*frequent bladder urgency without successfully making it in time (for months now)
*VERY STRANGE pain below my right ribcage that is sometimes dull and then all of a sudden feels like somebody has a vicegrip pinching it ( I thought maybe gallbladder for a while but the pain will come and go and it seems more like it is in the ribs or something... I don't know) Again, comes and goes.
*vision problems with floaters, greying, and things just seem 'wrong' and I can't even explain it to myself really (vision problem is what led to my diagnosis of the other stuff 20 years ago, but it was a single one time event)

Now things that have gone on and off for over 20 years:
*numbness and tingling in hands, arms, feet, section of leg (these an happen together with each other, alternate, or only one at a time; but they all come and go over time.
*extreme fatigue (but I also have sleep apnea, so that could be that)
*weakness in hands and arms sometimes (usually only one side at a time when that happens and sometimes so bad it is hard to pick up a cup)
*extreme stiffness all over my body. I feel like I need to be oiled or something.
*I am almost always in pain somewhere and sometimes it is such strange pain that feels like it is deep inside a bone or muscle or something strange.
*mutlitple cognitive and depression problems, but could be life there.. LOL
*Occasionally I start having trouble with choking on my own saliva (sorry)
*Also, occasionally go through times where I just don't feel like my lungs are working and can get full of air. Like the muscles just can't inflate them enough and it hurts to try to breath deeply (not like pluerisy, cause that is there also)
*
I will stop there because that is enough, but not everything that goes on. Again, not sure what you are allowed to say but I would sure love to hear what you think or any suggestions if I am able to get myself into a doctor or hospital soon.

If you are down here, then thank you so much for taking the time to read this.