Kiwi33 - I've had a look at CBT I do something somewhat similar with a counselor. My counselor actually recommended a book to me I found very useful, it's called 'Running on Empty' by Jonice Webb. It's a little American at times, for me as a Brit, but it all still applies.

I had never really considered my childhood as a problem because nothing bad happened to me, as such. But this book looks at what didn't happen to you as well, and how that might impact you in later life.

Second Chances - interesting you get the same when horizontal. Must be something in that.

Wide-0, thank you for the support. Your response was really uplifting! Put me in a good mood for a couple of days actually. I'm not religious as such, but I do believe something was calling me at that time.

You're right about having sugar at times and just accepting that tingling will come. It doesn't feel too bad when I almost induce it. I feel more in control.

I actually posted because I'd been binging on chocolate and was beginning to feel the tingling and burning more and more often. But since posting my diet has been lots and lots of veggies, fish, lean meat and lentils / brown rice. Symptomless until I begun to type 'symptomless' and my feet just gave a tingle. Always happens!

With regards to my PN improving or worsening, Wide-0, I plan to remain sober for my remaining years. I'm not finding the non drinking thing overly hard anymore. It felt impossible for the first 90 days. It felt maybe potentially doable for the following 90 days, but now feels very possible. I plan on eating a healthy diet with supplements too. So more improvement would be great. I actually read a study from a university which showed recovery is taking place to a significant extent for 18 months, and then continues after but to a lesser degree.

I have been using CBD oil since July also which is a legal, over the counter job in all countries I believe. I went to purchase some when I was in Vegas recently and the woman who served me had diabetic neuropathy, and said the only reason she was able to stand behind the counter was CBD oil.

Wide-0, The message you said you sent to a friend with very bad language is the kind of thing I'm referring to of my treatment. A lot of bad language, hurtful comments, and deliberately trying to bring people down to my level at that time. It's funny when you said 'kinda deserved it' because my brother and I, whose sober longer than me talk about this a lot....

How many times did situations happen, or people do things, which weren't great to say the least. But when you're the most drunk, and you're the one who doesn't remember what's happening....you get blamed in entirety. The amount of times I've said to my Dad or bro, 'Imagine if I was drunk in this situation'...when somebody starts an argument, or like one time a woman threw a drink in my face because I declined her offer of allowing me to buy her a drink...luckily I could explain to the security what happened exactly.

I see it now...a guy or girl gets blackout drunk, does very little wrong, and the next day is bombarded with accusations of wrongdoings for what was very little. But those accusations combined with the depression from the alcohol create a very guilty feeling...one that would mean I would immediately begin drinking again. And the circle goes on!

I think I mentioned previously my running...I forget exactly which forum I said things on...because I have a similar one for 'Pancreatitis survivors'. I'm now managing to run and compete in 5k and 10k races in a pretty respectable way. Finished 29th out of 180 on Saturday morning in a timed 5k. I get such a sense of enjoyment from it.

And Wide-0 good news on the surgery.

Last note...Icehouse has pointed out the 4 key problem areas. Everytime I abstain from the 1 out the 4 I struggle with...sugar, for a long period of time (which is about a month with say only about bars in total), I find I'm better each time I do that. When I eventually binge again it's not as bad as it was. Worth noting.