Mark, I'm a contractor. My only benefit is health/dental/vision. I still need to check into short term disability through my employer. And I'm Illinois...I don't know what my options are there.

Here's the progress(?) I've made, though...

Last week, I found a chiropractor who works with C1 & C2 injuries. He did x-rays (which my other chiro didn't do) and found severe neck injuries (ligament damage, reverse curvature, alignment issues). He is now working with me intensely to repair the damage, strengthen the muscles, and correct the alignment issues. I forget the name of the therapy, but but basically has me lifting weights with my head. He tells me I have extremely poor neck strength for someone my age (35). And though I'll never get full restoration of proper spinal neck curvature, we can get close with strengthening, injury repair, and proper adjustments.

I'm excruciatingly dizzy...nauseated...headaches...just general malaise...sitting in the bathtub this weekend and shaving my legs wore me the f*** out. All my usual spunk is gone. I don't feel like myself anymore.

Cognitively: I've been journaling my issues. Word and memory issues, concentration issues, etc. It is interesting to notice how unimportant those things seem in the days that follow. I called my neuropsychologist about a re-evaluation (more on that in a bit).

Emotionally, I'm a mess. I cry a lot. I'm frustrated. I'm stressed. I'm tired. Sometimes I can put on a happy face and make the best of the day, and sometimes I can't. I bounce back and forth between wanting to give up and accepting it all for what it is. I've found that asking for help isn't that hard. My babysitter (who also cleans houses) is willing to help me with some housework (since I'm too dizzy at the moment to bend and scrub the bathroom). My boyfriend will help me empty and load the dishwasher. The grocery store will shop for my groceries (for a small fee). My boss (talked to him today) is being amazing and recognizes my efforts to do whatever I can just to be at work. I'll take the job and show up when I can as long as they'll let me. My living expenses are relatively low, by design, which is coming in very handy now that I'm living on approx 1/3 of my usual income. My boyfriend (who doesn't share finances with me or live with me) has told me "we'll make it work...I have money"...so, that helps too. I have some retirement, and I'll dip into that before I lose my house. These are all the stresses I've been going through...bouncing back and forth between not worrying about them and simply accepting them. It's exhausting, but I think I already said that, and I'm sure you guys already know all of this and have probably dealt with so much worse. Thank you for understanding that it still sucks.

Back to the neuropsych...back in 2015, September-ish...I had a crippling panic attack at work. My boyfriend took me to Express Care. They gave me Xanax and sent me on my way. My primary didn't like that I was on Adderall for ADHD and now Xanax, so she sent me to a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist wanted to get to the root of it, so he sent me to see said neuropsychologist. Several hours of testing and thousands of dollars later, I learned that I don't have ADHD (a diagnosis I got in my early 20s)...I have a severe panic disorder that causes cognitive issues. After about a year of CBT and some meds, I was good. No more daily meds, and a .5mg of Xanax every month or so when I have to deal with family gatherings or a party or something. NBD, right? Thinking back now, and after reading a lot about PCS, I can't help but wonder if the spike in anxiety was caused by accident #1 in Jan 2015 (complete with whiplash and concussion). Nothing I can do about it now, except chalk it up to a learning experience, but I did realize that I have a sort of a cognitive baseline from my previous neuropsych evaluation...Neuropsych is willing to do a re-eval, but wants to wait 4-6 after accident in case symptoms spontaneously resolve (as, he says, they often do). So, appt scheduled for Feb 5.

Acupuncture appt scheduled for Saturday. Thought about reiki. I'll try anything at this point. Standing on one foot in driving rain with hands in the air, maybe?!

One last thing: Is it really worth contacting a lawyer at this point? Or should I hold off until it's time to settle up with the other driver's insurance company? What are the pros/cons?

Thanks so much for listening to my rant. Feels good to get it all out....

*exhales* much love to all of you