The spirit of ones soul
The kind ness that comes from
Those who look for no recognition
What makes one think it’s okay to trample on ones thunder
To strip them of who they were meant to become
How dare their be parents who do not see
That children are little human beings
That they are truly the future of this world
How is it that a certain gender gets away with taking from a child
What no child should ever have to live
And all my children raised without their father in their life
And to be perfectly honest
They aren’t anything
Anything to brag about
Horrible fathers
Horrible
I think would have done more harm than good
Showing their true colors when they couldn’t have me for themselves anymore
And they suffered the consequences
If I should have chosen them again
I would do what I did again all over
Hard to understand where I’m coming from
Trust me it’s way deep
Since I can remember things when I was two
I was able to tell a story
And my mother tells me how young I was and I was able to tell her things in detail
She was raped by my father
And me and my sister were in the room
Now
I’m not doing the poor me thing
But having to live through this horrible feeling and know it come from deep disparity
The pain of yearning to have a relationship with a mother who just told her third child she was to be aborted
Go figure
And as the years go by
I see my purpose
And I can say I have done all that I could possibly do to try and protect them
Only I couldn’t protect them from everything
Not everything
And they suffer gravely for their choices
Baffled I am
As I tell them
If I have to pull through
So do you
That’s my answer to them
They have no clue how far I have gone to try and protect them
All I ask is to be respectful for they are hurting the one person who never abandon them
In every decision I have made in my life
Revolves around my children
So I’m baffled
At where they are in life
Is mental disease so strong
Having to watch my kids go through the choice they make
And I think to myself
When I was younger
Why I did the things I did
I consider myself a wise smart intriguing individual and told I am beautiful
Something I do not see as looks are not what I look for in a being
Sure I appreciate beauty
But I think I’m understood
Where does on get off and think it’s okay to crush ones dreams
Dreams
Oh the dreams
Some I made reality
All successful and short lived
Jeez the books I could write

Then I wonder to myself
My broken body isn’t my concern anymore
It is my serenity
My happiness
My mind
To have a happy healthy mind
And it is a work all my life in progress

There are boogy men in the world
Some of them could be a family member
Always listen to the children
Listen
They are little people
Have a mind that works on overload
They want live and consistency
To never be abandoned
Ever
Never did I walk away from my children
I’m so tired of the blame game
Yes I accept and am deeply sorry if I stripped you my children of anything you should have gone through just for the lesson no matter how much it would hurt

Our experience as we grow into adulthood
Into early senior life
I make them understand
I didn’t get to where I am without time
Time can be a good tool for us who want to flourish into someone you begin to like
This is my journey
I don’t know why
But I have Faith and Trust in You Jesus Christ
Who died for me and you
Thank you Heavenly Father for what I am to receive in my day
In your name as I see clearly you are in front of me
May this depressed feeling leave my mind and body
In your name
Amen
Bless this world
Amen