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Old 12-15-2017, 08:33 PM
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PamelaJune PamelaJune is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 1,140
10 yr Member
PamelaJune PamelaJune is offline
Senior Member
PamelaJune's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 1,140
10 yr Member
Default Finding me again after 25 years

My husband has left me after 25yrs of marriage for a 21yr old, the young girl who I took in and treated like a daughter. I’ve chronicled her arrrival in our life in other forums where I spoke of DB journey to sobriety, SCS thread, and never ending tears thread. There were warning signs of what she was up to and I posted of them in other forums but I was too unwell and in hospital to do a damn thing other than to say to him she is throwing herself at you and to be careful, never in a million years did I think he would commit an act of infidelity, he’s never been that type of man. But I guess having a young fit nubile girl constantly leaning into your arms, flattering your ego, stroking your arm and hanging off of every word you say, sobbing in your arms with her arms around your neck daily as she came up with with each new horrific lie (raped as a child, incest, beaten, more rape, and then the ultimate cutting from wrist to elbow on the inner arm when he told her he wanted to be friends and nothing more) then the alleged rescue of the dog who was allegedly choking, and how she shoved her hand down the dogs throat to remove a dead rat covered in maggots and the sitting crying for 4 hours as he held her and thanked her for saving the dog - all this while I was in hospital.

As it happens, none of the stories are true, I contacted her mother once I came home from hospital and learned of the affair. I don’t believe the story of the dog either, just another attempt by her to be in his arms.

But it’s too late now all of it, it’s happened, and even when I had my nephew put all her stuff out the front door, when she came to colllect it, she let herself in the front door and claims I assaulted her. Me who is barely able to care for myself assaulted her on the Sunday so that on the Wednesday when he saw her she had a black eye, she sobbed some more and ran off into the night. Gosh she could win an Oscar for her performance. He felt painfully guilty..... then he went house hunting and she joined him, out herself on the lease and used my name as her reference so the agents rang me to get a rental reference. Perfect way of making sure I knew she would be living with him, while he was telling me no she won’t be, she may stay over a few nights. She made sure I knew she would be there.

I’ve grappled where to post this, it’s painful to me, but not like the chronic pain I suffer from. It’s depressing and while I acknowledge I have depression it’s not fair to ask others suffering with depression for help and support on this particular subject. So, I’ve opted for this forum, I hope and pray NT’rs can help me as I embark on this journey to finding me. I’ve used other forums on here and have always taken comfort in knowing I could turn to NT and it’s emotional support I need right now. I need to be able to write my journey and have advice and support from the community I turn to in need. I am need of emotional support now more than I have ever needed before.

I have no idea how to move forward in terms of making arrangements to be sure I am financially secure. And as I keep telling my family who tell me how easy it all is. I am still supposed to be in hospital, I am unfit and cannot bend or twist. I am emotionally ill, I’m suffering with severe depression and anxiety so my mental health is also unstable. I’m trying to work from home so I can at least have some semblance of income come in, I’m struggling to work and concentrate, I’m struggling with just living. Some days I eat, others barely anything at all. I have cared for this man for 25 years, I have put his needs before mine always, I was the good wife. Now I’m just a fool, discarded when I am at my weakest. Please help me, I need your advice, emotional support and the care and love you’ve shared willingly before.
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I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion
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