Early days and already sending me confusing messages - last night a message he hoped I had a good day love L, then this morning an email; Hope you’re doing well Toby happier with the cooler weather how are the boys? Missing you Love L&T.

I haven’t replied to any messages, I think I will only respond in person, I’ve had 2 phone calls neither of which I answered, 2nd one he left a voice message, same content as the email.

Damn, he said on Friday before the bank he needed a break. Well needing a break and then telling me 2 days later he misses me is not taking a break. It’s his fault he’s missing me.... He’s coming here Wednesday to do the pond, he has an appt at the bank to complete his credit card application and I guess will come here after that, I have a work appt at 2pm, I think I’ll leave earlier so I don’t see him and have to put up with her pinging iphis iPad every 5 m8nutes and ringing him because he hasn’t responded...

My mum and sister keep saying I need to be here so he can’t take stuff, but I just can’t be worked up over material things, if he takes something, I just don’t seem to have the energy to care. Other people telling me to get a lawyer, I can’t afford a lawyer, my pharmacy bills are huge, as is my medical treatment and on top of that now I have to pay electricity, gas and water. So it’s going to be tough. I’m cutting off Foxtel (sky) at the end of the month and I’m going to see if I qualify for food bank, I have 6 pets to feed as well as myself. I can’t change the security costs or internet and telephone costs so I’ll just have to suck that up somehow. And push my boss to go ahead with the increase to 4 days a week, even if at present I struggle to work 1. I’m getting the work done, just not in a fashion I would normally and no one can say they’re neglected, I’m meeting all their needs. Life is just pure hell right now. I’m so confused and scared.
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