Hi BJ,
I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely today. It's difficult for many of us to get our feelings out. Don't hate yourself for finding it hard, 'cause we don't think badly of you.

I just had a look at your cat sites again. I found them really informative. I think I'd read them before, but quite a long time ago.

Take care of yourself, BJ. When you're up to it your feelings will pour out. In the meantime just take it easy there. Sometimes it's just one hour at a time or one day at a time.