Pam, I think that your last two posts must have been very hard and cathartic for you to write. They only reinforce my belief that you are a very honest and compassionate person.

The way in which Miss BO has manipulated both you and DB fits with my indirect experience of people with BPD. There is no way that I am trying to make excuses for her.

I hope that it is OK if I offer you a gentle and respectful suggestion.

It might be an idea if you just sat with what you have recently learned. This is not something which can be measured in hours or days. Processing it all might lead you to, for want of a better word, acceptance.

I hope that this helps.