WorriedinNYC,

Welcome to Neurotalk.

It sure sounds like you are struggling with some serious anxiety issues with a dose of PTSD from your years of anxiety. You may have taught yourself to respond to these stimuli over the years.

I agree with the neuro. You should seek out a therapist. A neuropsychologist might help to start but a good therapist who can teach you Cognitive Behavioral Therapy CBT techniques to manage these triggers and symptoms will likely be the key.

The brain can memorize response symptoms and play them back with a slight trigger. Think of it as a sort of flashback.

You may need some meds, an SSRI or SNRI or such to help you settle down while you learn these needed skills.

Christmas is a very stressful time for people with these issues. I can't imagine how much more stressful Christmas is in Manhattan. Woooooh.

I bet that cell phone event was very traumatic. You were startled, annoyed, angry and more and those emotions ruminated for quite some time leading to your symptoms. You are repeating this cycle with the shouting match and the head poke.

A therapist can help with both CBT and exposure conditioning. Exposure to the triggers with preplanned responses until you can be mildly surprised with the trigger and still manage a proper response. Eventually, you can learn to tolerate more startling triggers.

This may take many months. You have years of habits to undo.

I would encourage you to write a note on a slip of paper and keep it in your wallet/purse or at a note on your smart phone. I carry these slips in my wallet that reads,

"Please be patient with me. I suffer from a brain injury that causes me to over-react when confronted with shouting or someone barking orders. I respond by getting loud. Any assistance to help limit excessive auditory stimulation is helpful."

You can write a statement that fits your needs. I print a dozen copies the size of business cards so I can hand a copy to the person. They will read the note better if you are not holding it. I let them keep it so they may read it again and realize there are people like us who need their understanding and help.

I've been denied boarding a flight because the TSA agent yelled at me from behind as I was trying to put my stuff on the conveyor and I reacted by yelling back, 'What do you want?'

Cops can also get loud.

Please feel free to lean on us. We have heard it all.

My best to you.