I am greatful to have been a alcoholic addict
It be a disease that captured all my babies and before them my family line
My father and my mother enabled him she had her own MONEY was her addiction still is but takes lots of meds and abused some of them
Her marriage to him was
Fatal and toxic
Then
I look at my granddaughter and wonder
Can she be the one who escaped the disease
Everyone of us
Those active
I can’t say or name one in my family
Active
A mother phycian induced
Myself physically physican induced
(Unfortunately the night I got up to go to work was the last day it was the old me
Since my very first experience taken to the hospital that early morning there is not ONE experience From that moment
I beg
PLEASE HEAR ME
NOT ONE EXPERIENCE since then has been without incident
If it it was from neglect unsure not enough experience
Not caring not listening sexually violated in what is known to be a reputable well known hospital
Hackensack University in Bergen County NJ
To the botched job I live with evident to the eye
It’s called double bubble won’t let anyone to touch me with a knife
And it hurts
The pictures of the neglect all causing my body to be on so many medications and how many they would have me on if I didn’t fight them one drug in particular that hurt me permanently was lyrica
Like candy
Did not hear me
This one of four neurologists I have been to
I reacted
He didn’t listen
Oh the stories)
It’s hard to have accepted all the neglect
The persons
Nurses doctors and to not know
The work it takes to stay sober
Not go the easy way
For me
A couple of drinks would do her job
And lighten my spirits
I start to laugh more
The pain is numb
How do I tell my child
Look at the world
There is something very wrong
Something missing in the human spirit

I recently said
It’s not the internet or computer I take issue with
It is the cell phone
It cause the world to stop and take shortcuts in every aspect
You cannot find a pay phone in this city
And the act of having to come home and listen to the messages of those who were trying to reach us
The act of not having the phone glued to the hand
And all the apps
No no no
Come home after a productive day and then listen to the messages find the time to sit and return the call
Does anybody understand my point
The core of where it changed
Like that over night
All of it premeditated by the ones who like messing with other people’s minds
A mind game if you will

How do I tell my child
That my sanity is dependent of my faith in a better world
Promised if I put my faith into a better place mentally
What do I pray for he is missing most in the hearts of us humans
Who ore on a path and have no clue

It is in ones sadness pain and sorrow does one reach out to Heavenly Father for guidance
And we are never ever failed
As they are the promises
Seek and we shall find
Ask and receive
Knock and it will open

Open up you mind
Heart
Spirit
And know he is real
In Jesus name
Amen