Phone calls have stopped. I neglected to mention on the Friday before Christmas the phone rang while my brother, SIL and niece were here. I had told them about the calls, so B answered and said “hey skank, we know it’s you”. There was a gasped intake of breath followed by a couple of heavy breaths before the phone clunked down. With the Lilith linked to her very clearly in the photo I sent to DB and the phone confrontation I think both those methods will cease. I remain hopeful she will just leave me alone and try to focus on staying “sane” for him.

Meanwhile he continues to contact me every day in one form or another, phone, visits, email or messenger. Yesterday visited and talked about de cluttering the house as if he is moving back. I just remain silent now. It’s pointless to say anything, I can see he is spiraling downwards mentally, his weight has gone up and none of it is my concern. I just have to remain focussed on how I can make ends meet, not easy when I’m not really supposed to be working and I’m now contemplating increasing my hours. Even though work asked me to formally increase to 4 days while I was ill, I hadn’t pursued it, perhaps I need to now.

Dentist this afternoon, feeling quite nervous even though it is only a clean and scale and consult for orthodontics. My jaw problem makes it hard to hold my mouth open for prolonged periods. So even a clean and scale presents with pain.

I’ve lost a lot of weight and can’t seem to find an appetite, I force myself to eat and sometimes feel quite ill afterwards. But I know this will pass. Such a shame when the painting began I gave away all my “skinny” thinking I would never fit in them again, big mistake... luckily I kept some favourite items.