While it is true I am not getting any worse I certainly am not improving. Today I am couch bound and every simple thing takes much effort so easier just to stay put. I can push through the pain/discomfort and it is actually helpful to keep busy and my mind occupied but it is the weakness that is very limiting and down right crippling.

There is a commercial for fibromyalgia, likely for the drug Lyrica. The woman says that to the outside world she appears "normal" but they are unaware of how she suffers. I can relate. I never speak about PN to anyone because other than a strange gait one would never know how bad I always feel. This week alone I have turned down two invitations to get out and the third one is too important and so I will try and just have to hope I am having a better day or can push through with mind over matter.

I have decided meds for this won't be helpful as I can tolerate the burning and crazy firing nerves but it is the weakness that brings me to my knees quite literally. It is my understanding that there is no medication for that. Perhaps antidepressants would be a better way to go. My mental state is very dependent on my PN and what I am able to do on a given day. Perhaps if I could maintain a better attitude I could be more accepting of my limitations.

In the interim I am hoping time will help and perhaps Icehouse will post some encouraging news on his therapy program.

When I am this low I want to drink to be able to fly away for a bit but I won't. That is what has brought me to this pathetic existence and I only wish I smartened up earlier.