Those glimmers of what she was in conversations, it awakens memories that twist like a knife and burn acid in my gut. I want to be able to spend more time with her as I know the years left grow shorter, but, she is who she is and bundled up with the woman I love is the woman who spurned me and has the capacity to hurt me all over again. So I don’t see her as much as she would like, but I message her every day.