So many of us have issues; especially with Moms. I have memories of dreams opening doors looking for my mother. We lived in a corner apartment building that faced two different streets. The memories are deep inside even tho I couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 yrs. old. She would put on her coat (at night) and I would chase after her going thru the yard to the other side of the building crying for her to come home.

There's so much more of that behavior (I asked her some years ago what could I have done so bad at that age to do that to me.....she said; "you wouldn't listen to me". Would have loved to hear the words; "I'm sorry.

Continued all my life and worsened into adult hood punishing me with not talking to me because my unmarried brother (3 1/2 yrs older than me) would let her know my dad came over to visit my apartment with a lady friend after my getting married at 19. (They separated when I was 11 and divorced when I was 16.) I was pregnant with my first child and still only 19; hung up for months when I would call. I really needed my mother. None of my friends had babies yet. This continued until my dad died and still wouldn't let up because she didn't think I should have continued seeing him. They split when I was 11 because of his seeing another woman.

I often prayed that I would be left with love, compassion and understanding. She evidentially didn't have it easy when she was growing up either.

But;..... I know my kids have issues with me as well; my eldest I was the hardest on and am often reminded of this. So the Mother thing continues...... Again, I pray they can forgive me for whatever I may have done to hurt them. I do remember to tell them that I regret and am sorry about many things that I may have done that may have been hurtful.

Sorry; didn't mean to go on so long...