For background, I had a concussion in October '16 and another in June '17. The first one I recovered from quickly despite being the worst one. (Fell off a skateboard at speed). The second one in June happened when I hit my head underneath a set of stairs at work on a metal pole. Another concussion, major mental health issues, hospital stays, the works. I'm just starting to get back to being myself. I experienced PCS up until last month from this one. A lot of exertion would make my head feel like a balloon, which is usually my cue to slow down or rest.

I had one instance in November, where I went to a kick boxing class (Only hitting the bags) and for two weeks my symptoms came back, brain fog, light sensitivity, intolerance of loud noises and exertion. This cleared up and I continued getting back to work and going to the gym.

On Tuesday, I was at the gym hanging up my coat, and when I leaned up from doing this, hit the top front of my head on a wooden shelf. Had I not had concussion and the trauma already, I wouldn't have thought twice. I've had much worse hits without anything bad happening. But sure enough, light sensitivity, panics, some brain fog. I went to the doctor, who said it's very possible it was not a concussion, and my neuro-psych I see, said it could very well be my extreme anxiety making it feel worse and that she was pretty positive it was not another concussion. Unfortunately, my symptoms are not getting better, and since with the first 2 concussions, it took me about 3 - 4 days for the bad symptoms to really kick in, I'm over here panicking that I gave my self another brain injury. It's been two days and I only feel worse. I just dont know how I could go through this again. My thoughts instantly reminded me how much of a struggle I just had over the last 8 months, and I couldn't bear the thought of being out of work, in bed, mental health problems, etc again. I thought about suicide the last time because of the pain but doubt I could ever do that. I'm hoping that I just irritated it and that's what the symptoms are from and not another concussion. I just dont know how to do it. I even dreamed of telling my wife that I didn't want to be alive anymore if I had to go through it again so soon...

Thanks for reading.