Corey can take medications if he has a prescription for them. I got him to go to a pdoc and tdoc at one point, but it lasted less than 3 months, and he's said he'll never go back again. I've suggested he go back at times when I thought he needed to, but bringing it up just p****s him off, so I've stopped trying.

I talked to him last night, and he said worrying about my health problems was definitely one of many things that gives him anxiety and may be causing him to drink heavier/more often. He said he always has a lot on his mind, but doesn't want to talk about anything. I let him know I'm here to listen if he changes him mind.

He can control his drinking for varying stretches of time, but eventually falls back into old patterns. He doesn't want to have these problems, but addiction is not easy. I know he struggles. Last night he drank, but he made an effort not to start too early, and he didn't drink too much even though it's the weekend. I'm going to try to stay optimistic.

My hair is cut at a pretty sharp angle- shorter at the back and longer in the front. I used to have the front cut below my chin, but it's down to about my collar bone now. I don't like the way it looks down at all. It's too long, and not flattering for my face shape, but it has to be long so I can put it all up. I had 2 1/4" cut off this time, but Corey was shocked at how long it is because I NEVER wear it down. He said it looked very pretty. A compliment!

Yesterday's weight: 147.8lbs
Last night I remembered I had chocolate and butterscotch chips (for baking) in the cupboard, and couldn't help getting into those. I doubt that will make a difference tho. I usually either don't gain weight or lose some when I cheat. I don't know if I will weigh myself today.
I think I'll stop trying to lose weight at 140lbs. I'm 5'9". I want to have some meat on my bones in case I get really sick.

I hit the butcher shop yesterday, but never made it to the grocery store because it started raining. I'll have to go today, but I'm not happy about it. Food shopping on the weekend is no fun.