My high anxiety returned yesterday again. I feel rotten. I finally feel asleep at three. I am not looking forward to the doctors' appointments. I am eating so much. I am so worried about my weight. It is easier to walk when I lose the weight. I spoke to my cousin again last night again. His son with brain cancer has a girlfriend he met on one of the internet sites. He spends the weekends with her at my nephews house. He still works on his four computers. He is a computer genius. He definitely has a quality of life. another cousin who I met maybe once is dying of prostate cancer. I think he suffers from mental illness.