Originally Posted by IH8PN

Not the end of the week, but I feel the need to post an update. Partly because it's been a bad day pain wise, and partly because I need something to take my mind off the desire to drink. My pain went up enough to cause my feelings of despair and stress which is ultimately putting my sobriety in jeopardy.

How can I expect to get better or seek the advice of others if I can't hold up my end of the bargain?

First my stats regarding the PN.

-87 days since left foot symptoms
-40 days since right foot symptoms
-15 days on Nortriptyline (up to 30mg a day for the past 2 days)
-12 days sober
-9 days on supplements (and working to improve my diet)

I can't believe these symptoms and pain have progressed so rapidly up to this point.

I know it would be ridiculous to think that after such a short time frame for "healing" I'd really have significant results already. But the past few days leading up to today gave me signs of hope. The burning in my feet and legs has been noticeably less and not very noticeable in my arms or upper body. Since I'm on the shotgun approach to recovery I cant say whether its the Nortriptyline or supplements that helped. Maybe it's a combination. I'm just happy that there is some relief and I'll worry about figuring out the reason later. That's the good news!!

The bad news is that today I've had increased pain in the soles of my feet. The feeling of walking on "bunched up sock" increased in the ball of my right foot. And the ball of my left foot is still walking on "rocks" which seemed sharper today. For some reason walking around barefoot feels better. Maybe the pressure is distributed just right to make it more tolerable. Walking around in shoes (pretty much any shoe, I've tried every pair I've owned) makes it worse. Anything with arch support is the worst. Makes it hard to leave the house or go to work!!

That brings me to the worst of my pain right now. My right foot has a dull ache which was brutal today. It's hard to pinpoint where it's originating, but the "arch supports" in shoes make it worse, so I'm thinking its originating around that area of my foot. Anyway it's impossible to stand in one spot for more than a minute or two without having to move or sit down. Sometimes its worst in the heel area and sometimes it seems to radiate up to my ankle. As soon as I sit down it quickly subsides as it is very much pressure/position dependent. At the same time I can't replicate the pain by pressing on the sole of my foot. Feels very much like I'm walking on the bare bones. One thing I have noticed is that I get a vague cramping feeling in the same area when I'm relaxing in bed. I'm not sure I'd associate the dull pain with PN, but the burning and dull ache began on the same day 40 days ago. It came on so suddenly and expectantly, I'll never forget that day as long as I live.

Anyway the pain made it very hard to concentrate on anything other than getting off my feet today and as we all know, stress only makes the nerves more agitated. I needed to put my feelings down to take my mind off of alcohol and continue to track my journey.

Days like this are really going to test my resolve to fight this condition. I'm still so young and have a lot of responsibility with a toddler and I don't have time to take a day off and feel sorry for myself. Thank goodness I have my first appointment with a psychiatrist next week. I really need to get my mental health in check to properly attack my physical problems.