Originally Posted by mistiis

Don't even know how to start this thread. I am so confused and lost right now. Some of you know that I have lost my heart and soul, Richie...my life and my love.....the reason I live and breathe...he has left me in body, no, not in spirit for he will always live in my heart and soul. The problem is that I found a suicide note and he was very suicidal in the past year. Things had gotten very difficult for him. Now I have all this confusion to deal with and so so so many questions. And then there's the guilt. What did I miss?? What should I have done? And I don't really know IF he committed suicide that night....I know this is confusing, too many details to write out in one sitting. All the emotions that I feel are tearing my heart into so many pieces and I've cried rivers. I have also felt his presence and his peace, but, damn