Hi Chris...so sorry you are going through this. You are definately on a rugged path my friend....emotions can be like swimming in a stormy sea tossing us about to and fro. I am happy to read that you have support from family. That can make all the difference if you will allow it to. Finding meaning in our lives is crucial to feelings of self worth. Start small allowing your heart and mind to reach beyond yourself and your own difficulties...to help someone else...that will distract the mind and feed the heart and make you feel better about yourself....don't allow yourself to take on the role of the victim....praying for you to find strength and to be inspired with ways to start healing....