Similar situation...car accident about 7 years ago. First 3 years it was “I’m lucky to be alive” despite by struggles. Last 4 years have been, “why didn’t I die in the car accident.”

What keeps me going is I believe there is non 0% chance I can get better. I refused to believe the Dr that said it was depression. What does it mean when anti-depressants make the symptoms worse? Clearly not the right path to go down for myself.

Finally after 6 years I have a diagnosis of growth hormone deficiency. There are therapies to try that can help people many years past trauma. Don’t believe the BS about how people can’t get better 1 year after trauma.

I still struggled with those suicidal thoughts frequently. There’s no magic answer other than never give up. Hormone therapy, anti-inflammatory diet/supplements, HBOT, TMS, nuerofeedback...it can be confusing figuring out what to try next and expensive, but we have to try.