I would appreciate some thoughts on this.
I have to say I am a unique case, perhaps just like all TBIs, on several aspects including the fact that I have severe visual sensitivity to convergence and tracking as well as screen light that I will describe in a later post and could be illuminating to some. Paradoxically, closing one eye with a patch has not helped (I have my theory about that).

But after 4 years of suffering and 2 years out of work (since my second concussion) my main treating doctors, who have been very friendly until now, are getting a cold feet when I asked them for a disability letter. My work is going to separate me in few months, and I will obviously be without income unless my doctors write a strong letter that I am most likely permanently disabled.

Both doctors my neuro-ophtalomologist and sports medicine doctor, both specializing in concussion, went from telling me early on things like "unfortunately in some people this damage is permanent" to now telling me things like "I don't understand." The first went on from offering me several times to write a letter, to now telling me that "it won't help you and besides disability is extremely boring."
The second just told me that TBI does not cause permanent disability, and is trying to explain to me that this only happens in people who have a tendency for depression and anxiety prior to their concussion. He wants to speak to my psychiatrist (I am fine with that). The same doctor told me a while back about patients with worst symptoms than I have, who can't leave their room. Three years ago when I asked him, will I recover? He said "I have seen people who recovered".

These are my doctors, they have seen me through the years, they now are seeing how I am going to experimental therapies and desperately trying different therapies and drugs.

I wonder: Even if they end up writing the letter, my work is going to have me evaluated by an outside doctor on a yearly basis, fine by me. But if that is the attitude of my doctors, I can only imagine what will be the attitude/opinion of an outsider. At any point in time it seems I am likely to end up in some type of separation and lawsuit. My work is very understanding usually, they are trusting, but if doctors can't help who can....

I left the doctor's office today completely depressed and lost. The meeting ended so badly. His manners changed.

I am left contemplating the option of pretending to work as long as they keep me. I might get away with it in a bureaucracy but this will be a terrible thing for me to do to them and to myself. But if the alternative is to get kicked out without disability or after being on disability just because some doctor did not believe me. The stress that I have to live with for the next 15 years that one day my pension will end and I won't feel better...

Now I am very dizzy and have to lay down. I appreciate any thoughts.