Hello. It is nice to know that there are others who deal with brain injury, even though I wish none of us had to. It seems like you can try to explain what brain injury feels like to people, but they never truly get it. The only way to "get it" is to have one and then you can't do anything but get it.

I just ordered a hard copy of my Neuropsych testing. I was given the results over the phone, so ha ha, I don't remember much of it. I do know that it was much of what I already knew from living with it.

I have been texting myself to try to help with working memory. If I have a thought that I want to ask someone later or look up or a word I am struggling with I will text it to myself for later. I wish I could hold it in my head, but one thought only and even that can disappear.

I have had a neck xray. I was told about some degeneration and straightening of cervical curvature. I was also told that my head was not on straight. In some neuro rehab they told me to look at them straight on. I did this. Then they said my head is tilted. I did not believe them until they showed me in the mirror. Maybe it has always been this way? I know my head tilts to the right when I think it's straight. When I got in my car accident I was T-boned on my left side and ended up knocking down a fence and in someones front yard. So maybe the impact? Or bad blood flow. I had to physically grab my hair after the accident in order to lift my neck out of bed. The front of my neck was so painful.

I do wake up feeling not rested. Many days I wake up with head pressure/headache and hungover like feeling. I wake up in the middle of the night a lot. I have difficulty falling asleep. I am trying to work on this. When it is just me and my brain with the dark I can get feeling panic. I will lose the train of thought, words, memories and want to get out of my body. I used to really just love to kind of "day dream" before bed or get lost in my thoughts. Now I feel literally lost.

I don't take any meds or supplements. I have looked at the vitamin thread. I was spending a lot of money on vitamins at one point. I just don't have too much money.

I have thought about moving into the woods. I really get as much peace there as possible for me. I cannot do busy, noisy, chaos.

I am definitely still grieving my losses. I would like to give myself some compassion though and try to work with the new me and see what happens.

I will try to do an inventory on what I still have. I know now I see more things that I would have missed before. I was just too busy. I see a person struggling in a motorized wheelchair to reach something. I see someone with a noticeable disability and try to think about their struggle. I see how everything is just going so fast and so was I before. This forces you to slow down and notice things more, so I think that is a good thing.