I had a meltdown yesterday.

We went to do laundry, which is always a great time. And I was exhausted, in pain, not feeling well... and HOT.
This weekend Corey has been dragging a- so we have been going out when it's hotter out, and I should be/need to be napping. Being overtired didn't help matters.

I started folding our mountain of laundry while Corey was trying to recharge the AC (I had to buy another can earlier cuz he f- ed up and discharged the contents of the other one on the pavement). When he came in and told me he read the directions this time around, but it still didn't work, and we would have to bring the car in to be repaired, I just lost my f-ing s-...

About all I could manage to communicate were growls and strings of curse words, with the exception of telling him not to speak another f-ing word about the f-ing AC to me again. Even tho I told the KING of meltdowns I wasn't mad at him, he freaked out because he "isn't used to seeing (me) like that". I think with everything I have been going through, I WAS DUE. It was just that AC problem that put me over the top.

There are a lot of rational reasons why I had the meltdown (But I wasn't exactly being rational at the time). I guess this is the abbreviated list:
#1 MONEY: the repair and a $250 copay for tomorrow's MRI
#2 Not knowing when I could bring it in cuz of a million appt's
#3 Having to drive around in the high 80's all week w/o AC until I can get it fixed
#4 Constant health problems, tests, and appointments, and still feeling shitty
#5 Having high anxiety and just being overwhelmed in general

I don't have an appointment today because there was an issue with my insurance company approving my Tysabri (MS med) infusion that I was supposed to have at 10. The new appointment they scheduled is unacceptable, so I will have to reschedule it.

After dinner, I took a look at the rest of my appointments. My MRI is at 7:40am tomorrow, and I just have a manicure on Wednesday, which could be easily rescheduled. I will call the auto shop to ask if I drop the car off around 9 tomorrow morning they can have it fixed by the end of business Wednesday cuz I have a PT appointment at 9am Thursday morning that I don't want to miss. That's the only way I can see how I can swing it. Next week is lousy with appointments, too.

My anxiety is still REALLY HIGH. I have to go out to run two short errands, so I've only taken 1 1/4mg of Klonopin, but will take more when I get home. I have to shower so I can get going.