I'm sorry that your pdoc is not listening to you, and you feel like she is judging you for not getting better

You can try calling the pharmacy to get an update on the prior auth, or contact the insurance company directly (mine is open on Saturdays) to see if they are going to approve it or not, so you don't have to waste anymore time on this med, and can (hopefully) try the one you want, or one that you think may work out well for you
Most health plans have their drug formularies online, and many are searchable. If you feel up to it, you can take a look at yours to see if the med is on it, and what the restrictions are (prior auth, quantity limits, step therapy, etc), Sometimes they require patients try one med in a class of drugs before they will approve another more expensive drug (has happened to me).

The only direct knowledge I have about ECT is from 2 women who started doing treatments many years ago. They both have serious memory problems, their personalities have changed, and their mental health problems have actually gotten worse over time. I know things are probably different/better now, but I would never do it.