I understand and can relate. I think one of the best parts and huge part I miss in the program I just left at the pain clinic was the others support. I'm going to look into a support group, could you do the same possibly? You have the right to feel the way you do. In life there always be someone worse or better but it does not take away from what your going through. Is there anyone else you could reach out to for support? Any types of coping you have found helpful? I mean like a bath,yoga,relaxation tapes? Try to take 1 day at a time or even one moment. If you want an email buddy I'm always here. Take care.