I got a call back from my pdoc's office saying that the on-call nurse wanted me to come into the office for an appointment (today). I'll be seeing a psychiatrist I've never seen before. That makes me nervous. Seeing anyone other than my pdoc makes me nervous. He doesn't know my psych or med history, and may not understand that I can't afford the new meds on the market... and I've blown through pretty much everything else.

Anyway, this kinda feels like straight mania right now even though I have high anxiety and a lot of things to worry about, and I think some of the catastrophic thinking I've been having may actually be paranoia. If it is a mixed episode, it is definitely mania-dominant.

My upstairs neighbor, Ellen, 1/2 of the couple we have been having problems with, came down the fire stairs (spiral staircase that is actually pretty cool looking) to talk to me this morning when I was smoking a cigarette, and acted like nothing was wrong. We spoke for about 10-15min, but nothing about our noise complaints. I wonder if Janet ever bothered to call

I've been so busy running around cleaning everything, I've been running myself into the ground, so I'm exhausted and in pain. I smoked pot yesterday afternoon so I could get some much-needed sleep. Corey started in on the 12pk he brought home with him after work right away, so by the time I woke up from my 2 1/2hr nap, he was totally s- faced. Then, I had to drive him to the store to buy more beer. At least he was in a good mood.


I forgot to mention that I did try Stop and Shop's pick-service on Friday. It worked out very well. The young man put everything in the car for me, including 2 cases of water. The only caveats were that they don't sell the ice cream I love, and one of the nectarines I bought was rotten. I plan on using the service again. I didn't have to drag myself through the store or worry about asking anyone for help

I couldn't have walked through the supermarket on Friday anyway. For the first time, I started to have painful spasticity in my left leg in the pool, which prevented me from doing most of my walking exercises. Rare. It was really messed up all day.