Sue: Are you asking if I lost 21 plus pounds?

No unfortunately, only 2 and a half pounds this visit. But that's fine. I used to weigh over 300 and that was 100 plus pounds ago. I look completely different.

Hope your pain is going away.

My friend called me up last night all upset. He's my ex-friend's developmentally delayed family member. He's 55 but has the mind of a child. He's diabetic and has neuropathy (only he does not know that he has neuropathy, because he couldn't understand it.). They give him neurontin but he had an infection in his right foot and they had to operate recently because it went down to the bone. So, they cleared up his infection in the hospital, put a special kind of compression boot thing on his right foot, and put him in the rehab of Maimonides Hospital. He was there for more than a month. He was finally sent home (still wearing the boot). His sugar never goes over 100. He calls me every day.

So last night he calls me all upset saying "my foot blew up". I said "your foot with the ulcer?, and he goes "no the left foot". I said "what happened?". He said that the previous night his left foot blew up, got all red and he got scared. He took himself to the doctor yesterday, the doctor took all kinds of x-rays and told him "your foot is fine". I asked him "is your foot burning and he goes "oh, it drives me nuts, it burns all the time". (ding dong, Neuropathy???). I asked him "when you had the boo-boo (that's how you have to talk to him ), I said "when you had the boo-boo on the right foot and it got infected, did you feel anything? and he said "No, my feet are numb". And I knew from last year that he was on neurontin.

He can't read or write and his cousin takes care of his bills. He worked as a box-boy for 25 years and gets a pension and is now on SS Disability. But he has a payee and they don't give him any money. (you know what that means right?)

So I asked him very gently, I said "hon, has the doctor mentioned the word neuropathy to you?" and he said "what's that?, the doctor only talks to my cousin". So the guy has neuropathy, foot ulcers, is developmentally disabled, and is crying and really doesn't know what is going on with his foot.

Three years ago (I saw this coming because I know the family for over 45 years), they asked me to find names of group homes for him in case they ever needed one. He presently lives by himself, and knows how to cook simple things. So three years ago, I compiled a list of all group homes. It seems that you have to have a written diagnosis of being developmentally delayed and you have to have this written down before you hit the age of 22 or they won't place you. I got this from many group homes I called up.

So I contacted the Disability Association, and various other associations. There are places he can go, but his relatives have to apply, fill out the paperwork and follow up. So I did the list, went over there, gave it to the person who was my best friend at the time, she took the list, put it on the table and said "listen, this is my husband's relative, not mine, let him deal with it" What could I say? Then they called me up and said "can you please come over and speak to the Elder plan Representative, because we want to put him on an HMO and you know all about that stuff."?

So of course I went, and there we were, my best friend, and the elderplan rep. The developmentally disabled guy didn't come because he would have never understood what was going on. I asked all the questions, the rep said "oh you know what you're talking about" my friend said "well, she's been on disability for a few years and she knows what hmo's are, and we don't know anything". So I got every thing written down. All questions answered, all t's crossed and i's dotted (if you get my drift).

The Elder plan lady leaves, my best friend turns around and goes "oh thank you, I didn't know anything she was talking about'. Then I said "be sure to give this information to your husband, he has to make a decision about what plan to put this guy on". Guess what happened? I had everything in a folder, all relevant questions answered, and her husband never bothered to pick it up. He didn't even glance at it.

And then later, well let's just say that after 46 years, we are no longer speaking to each other. But the developmentally disabled guy calls me every day and I listen to him, and I encourage him. He is actually like a child.

So now his left foot is burning, (but not the right foot, because it has this boot with a pump like device on it). He puts ice on it.

Jeez, it's bad enough for so called normal people to be afflicted with diabetic neuropathy, but imagine a developmentally delayed 55 year old who cries and doesn't know what is going on. His relatives don't give a crap, and I have absolutely no input in what can be done.

Very frustrating.

Melody