Thank you so much. Last night I took my friend out to dinner for her birthday. she is my best friend and pays my rent. what a friend. she says she is happy she is in a position to do it and she is not rich. I tried not to talk about my depression and let her talk. She never had a weight problem but has become a vegetarian and has lost 15 pounds and is now thin and looks great. She has acid reflux so can't eat a lot of foods. she loves cheese but cannot eat it etc.
she realized last night that she could drink lol.
I called my friend who I hadn't spoken to in 23 years and when I was speaking to her I wasn't depressed. As I said she looks beautiful and looks in her fifties or sixties with her blondish hair and beautiful body. She told me she only sleeps four hours a night and has IBS and has to have a colonoscopy on Friday for them to see if anything else is going on. I told her how xanax is helping me get six hours of sleep whereas until recently I was only getting three or four hours. she says she has xanax but hasn't been using it. the ibs is giving problems leaving the house. Her daughter and son take klonopin. I told her I had four lovely dreams about her and she said she was going to call me in another week if she hadn't heard from me. I am really attracted to other people's problems. I was an excellent listener when I was a psychologist and still remember so much from the past. I am really f@#ked up big time. She said she would call me later. Right now I am still not depressed because I feel connected with her and not isolated. I don't understand it really. I can be supportive.