I guess I can understand not knowing what to say in response to some of my posts... I don't think that anyone here has had to share the same experiences from BP that I have to, and I don't even talk about all of it.

Not being able to sit still at all is an absolutely miserable feeling.
And the back and forth with meds working for a short period of time, and then not, is SOOOOO FRUSTRATING, and it's always SOOOOO DISAPPOINTING when my hypo/mania comes back. Paranoia isn't exactly fun either, but at least I haven't been hallucinating. This isn't the first time this has happened, and in the past, sometimes I have struggled to get back to 'baseline" for MONTHS. And there is always the risk of hospitalization...
In the meantime, I abuse my body by doing ridiculous things that I should not be doing. And right now, my eating and sleeping are hard. In the last 2 weeks, I have lost about 5lbs, which is not unusual when I'm struggling like this. I'm not heavy anymore, so I hope I don't lose anymore weight.


Yesterday was 1 night on the (increased) 4.5mg dose of Vraylar, and I spent the day cleaning everything in sight. So, in 3 days, I have cleaned my entire apartment again. It's f'ing spotless.

Today (after night 2 on 4.5mg), I was slightly less agitated this morning, and I am tired and sore from the cleaning, but I am still hypo, so I will be increasing the Vraylar to 6mg tonight.

I know that the problems with my upstairs neighbors are triggering me. Normally, I would be able to handle the situation better

Last night, Corey was really s/faced and was really contributing to my agitation and anxiety about the situation. I have to speak to him about that before he starts drinking because I don't need to deal with anymore s-.