If you can work, and still want to, tell her to go f- herself. It is your life, and you know what you are capable of, and what works for you, and what doesn't. I don't know how assertive you can be, but you need to tell her once and for all that the subject is NOT up for discussion because it only upsets you
I went into a downward spiral after I had to stop working, and I don't think I've really ever fully recovered from it... but it was my decision to make, not that I
really had a choice in the matter.
If and when it is
ever time to go on disability YOU will know it, Mari