spent close to an hour on the phone with suri this morning my best friend in israel who has breast cancer and it has probably moved to her lungs. last night she was terrified because she had two very deep coughs and she said she felt unworthy because she was given this awful form of cancer. I told her I spent most of the weekend talking to God because of what happened with the kitty cat issue and that was telling myself that whatever is God's will is good and she shouldn;t fight God's will. We can't second guess God. I wasn;t so blunt. I said that God loves us and we don't have control. She was beating herself up. I said that was the last thing she should do. I forgot to tell her she should spend much of her time looking at God's beauty rather than dwelling on the negative.
I told her I just came from a very bad place and wished I were dead and through talking to God I felt much better. She said we had to talk more.'
still haven't talked to cecilia. don't plan on calling her. don't know what will happen. I need her more than she needs me but still feeling too much pain.
tomorrow that lovely rabbi is coming over again. told him I missed him. will ask him how you can be happy and still feel suffering which is God's gift.
Marci was wonderful this afternoon.