Bizi,
I would have a very hard time sitting idly by in that mess, especially if a family member could benefit from my help. I know you do not look forward to visits over there for those reasons. I’m sure it would have been hard to stay AF in that environment... too many triggers (((HUGS)))
Just do the best you can. The holidays are stressful and can trigger over drinking and overeating for LOTS of people. As you would say to me, be gentle with yourself
A new year is approaching, and so is the chance for a fresh start (((HUGS)))