Hey guys, hope everyone is doing well and had a great holidays, however you decided to spend it.

Im guessing everyone is probably familiar with me, if not you can read my first post I ever made on this site to understand my backstory. In brief though, I am a 19 year old former high level athlete now dealing with pcs and mental health struggles.

Ive been much much better on not freaking too much or making constant posts on this sub for every little daily bump, jolt, etc that may happen through living an active life but 2 days ago something I felt was pretty bad happened and I wanted your guys opinion.

So basically, new years eve I was at my friends condo at a little party with many of my friends. The night was going pretty good, I actually wasn't feeling all that bad and it was great to see my friends, mentally it was really good for me.

That's when something happened (its always when im feeling better that something happens, I swear to god). Basically my best friend is this huge 230+ pound hockey player and really strong guy. He was extremely drunk and I guess he was feeling extra affectionate because he grabbed my face extremely aggressively (cupped my face kinda like how you would a girl you were gonna make out with) and told me how handsome I was and how lucky he was to have me as his friend (hes a weird guy).

Normally I wouldn't be concerned by this at all, in fact I would probably find it quite funny but in his drunken state, my friend did not have the best control over his body and the way hit me was extremely concerning. Instead of securing my face gently with both his hands at the same time, his right hand hit my first, smacking me on the side of the jaw and causing my head to rotate slightly from the impact towards his left where my face was then met with his left hand causing another bit of a smack before then securing my face in the middle with both his hands.


Neither of the smacks were devastatingly hard im pretty sure (although they did slightly hurt my jaw i think) it was the back and forth pinball effect from two rapid succession impacts on either side of my face that really devastated me to my core.

As soon as my face was touched I had an instant surprise/sinking feeling and my brain felt off, it was really weird but just very hard to tell if it was anxiety or brain trauma related. I remember reading somewhere that rotational blows are much more devastating and require much less force to cause trauma.


Anyways after this happened I immediately felt off and physically nauseated, I sat in the corner by the window in complete sadness and disbelief, looking out at the skyline of downtown Montreal as the party went on behind me. I probably sat there for an hour just gazing off until I got the strength to stand up, say goodbye and give hugs and kisses to my friends (got a lot of hard hits in the upper back to top it off as I was saying bye to people) and made the cold, lonely walk to the metro station to head home.


The next day I obviously felt lousy, the familiar symptoms started to creep in, the nausea, the slight irritation and soreness around the eyes the brain fog. Today I arguably feel worse and the sadness and anger has shifted to a dull, empty hopelessness, I really don't know what Im gonna do this time.

Ive also not been taking care of myself too much since this happened and am on the tail end of a bad cold so these could be slightly contributing factors to perpetuating my symptoms but im really not sure.

So yah that's how I started 2019, anyone have any thoughts on my situation? Concussive? Sub concussive? Anxiety? Setback? Ill probably end up making a doctors appointment regardless but the only concern is if I can get one before school starts up again or if I should just bail on the semester.

Any feedback is much appreciated, I really respect this community and value your opinions.

(please do not tell me I need to get new friends, im not ditching my best friend just because of something he did while blackout drunk on new years)