Thank you so much, ladies

I got an email back from the leasing company for the other apartment complex after I filled out the app asking me about what I was looking for. I called back, but by 2pm, I had not heard anything, so I decided to call again.

They have 1st, 2nd, and 3rd floor apartments available. I asked a bunch of questions, including if the utilities are gas or electric (they are gas, which is MUCH cheaper), and how much the average gas bills run. The guy in the office said that they usually run between $75-100 combined (we pay about $50 in electricity now). So, I went over to view the model apartment.

There are only 2-3 little steps to get into the buildings, and 4-5 steps to get down to a 1st floor apartment (a couple more to go to the 2nd floor). The apartment is HUGE at 915 sq. ft. and it was absolutely beautiful. The kitchen is fully applianced and there is central air. There is wall-to-wall carpeting, so I wouldn't have to worry about cleaning the floors every day. I think we would be happy living there for a long time.

The online application was sufficient, and I brought copies of our licenses and financials, so all I had to do was put down a $250 deposit to hold the apartment, and that's what I decided was the right thing to do. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to hold the one on the 1st or 2nd floor, and wanted Corey's input (I couldn't reach him), but the leasing agent said I could hold one and change my mind tomorrow (today) if I want to. I held the one on the 1st floor, and that's what Corey said he wanted, too.

So, I'm waiting to find out if they accept our application or not. I will find out today. Our FICO scores are very good, but I guess that their scoring system is different, and many people score a lot lower. So, now I will worry about that until I hear back. If we score high, then we will only have to pay a $500 security deposit. If we score lower than that, it would be 1st month's rent. I can't imagine our scores being so low that we would be declined, but you never know. We could move in on the 22nd if everything works out.

I did not contact the agent for the townhouse yesterday. Hopefully if this situation falls through, the unit will still be available.

I keep seeing myself handing Dottie over to someone else, and it's absolutely torturing me. My eyes are welling up with tears right now just thinking about it again. But I really feel like I'm making the right decision. I know I'm making the right decision- as terrible as I feel about losing Dottie.

I feel better and worse right now. I'm still all f'ed up. I am safe, but I'm sick, and need to be seen in my pdoc's office...
I called several times yesterday, but could not get through. I finally left a message, and the secretary called me back this morning. I'm a "40 minute" appointment because of the severity of my mental health problems, but she doesn't have ANY of those available until the 27th!!! I ended up taking the next available ("20 minute") appointment for Friday at 11am.
In the meantime, I plan on increasing my gabapentin by 100mg tonight. Hopefully, if nothing else, it will sedate me a little.

To make matters worse, Corey's going away for work again next week. I guess I will busy myself by starting to pack what I can on my own. The last time we moved, I did ALL the packing on my own anyway.

I'm going to TRY to relax today, and hope to hear good news about the apartment. I'm going to f'ing freak out if for some reason we don't get it.