I'm defeated. My pdoc is admitting me in to the hospital. I'm bit from mosquitoes, burnt to a crisp from sitting outside and I need help. I can't go through one more night like this. I'm so tired I'm hallucinating.

I feel like such a failure and I thought I could do this on my own but it's out of control.

thank you for being here for me. I'm sorry I didn't come back but I was trying so har d to sleep I took 6 sleeping pills. My pdoc will only give me so many at a time but it did nothing. I can't shut it off. I'm so tired. But I don't feel like I can contro it anymore. I want to go to heaven to see my mom and dad and if I do "it" I won't.

It's so embarrassing for me. I'm usually so strong but I don't know what's wrong . There's no embarrassed mood icon and if there was that would be me.