I'm glad that you were able to tell us how you're feeling, Mari (((HUGS)))

I know it can be hard for people to do things when they are depressed, even if it may help them, and I know that you have a long, difficult track-record with medication side effects, so now I can better understand why you haven't tried the cream on the areas that need treatment yet

I'm so very sorry that you are so depressed
Do you have any plans to see the pdoc soon?
Whatever happened regarding the increase in your dose of gabapentin?

I will be thinking of you today, Mari. And I really hope that your mood shifts for the better soon (((HUGS)))