Holy moly.... I dont even remember how to reply to each one of you in the same post.... so, a big message for everything will have to do

Dear Bizi... I wish you mom could be eternal so you dont have to experience this pain never in your life.... losing a mom is like all the sum of all the pain you have felt in your life multiplied by 1,000,0000,0000,0000 + times.... it is pure hell. I feel a hole where my heart is supposed to be... like, for real, not literally.... horrendous. You are right.... the second year is feeling like worse....

Mari !!!!!!! I always kept you in my thoughts oh.... uff, my mom was my.... best friend, my favorite company.... my motivation.... I could write a book of all the happy moments we had.... but tonight I wanna share my mom was very special.... she never did anything to anyone, always helped.... she was so strong.... survived so many difficult times.... always with a smile... she had a great faith in God (in who I no longer believe btw) and she was so humble, funny, protective, natural.... damn how much I need her

(((Donna))) I feel guilty.... I feel like I didnt give her all that she deserved... maybe it was my fault that she died because I didnt take her to the doctor more often ? I wish I could change everything.... If I could do everything in a different way....

Kay !! I dont doubt that meds did their thing at some point but.... not enough, not anymore.... same with therapy.... it was talk talk and talk and, sometimes I use the advices my therapist gave me but, this damn pain doesnt go away and it bothers me even physically ?
Terrible.

Bobby.... I have missed you.

I have missed you all....

Where is waves ? Wheres is BrokenFriend ?



Im more a chronic depressive than bipolar.... but my friends have always been in this forum